So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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