yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
