We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
