Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Even my vagina gasped.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
