What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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