So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
