there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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