Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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