Barsexuality is the new black.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
