the new term for farting is butt boxing.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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