I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
