he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
