just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
