he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
