I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize