i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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