You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize