I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
