doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
sarcasm needs its own font
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize