before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
