and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
