the condom got lost in my hair
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
