Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
