I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
