It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Randomize
