I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there was a trapeze. enough said
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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