Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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