We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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