We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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