just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
