how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
