Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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