You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
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