You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
