Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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