I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
