Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
