now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
