if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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