Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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