Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
