can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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