You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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