believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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