i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we're making bets on your personal life
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
