you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
