Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
