If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
