He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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