the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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