Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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