Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
