STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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