I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
