The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
