I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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