batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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