I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
