I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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