I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
