oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
