she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
That accounts for only three of the penises
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize