Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
