I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I touched a dick in church today
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
