Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
