Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize