I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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