butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
